With the end of one year approaching and the start of another on the way I thought I would come up with a list of things that I intend to focus on in the coming year.
-PURGE! (Not my food, my "stuff") aka DE-CLUTTER!
-Exercise more regularly (okay so everyone says that but seriously this time.)
-Eat healthier (more fresh more in season)
-BE FRUGAL (save $ anywhere I can)
-Always be impeccably groomed :)
-LEARN A NEW SKILL!
-Moisturize (keep that skin young)
-Floss (a great smile can do a lot)
-DON'T Procrastinate...ever!
-Read a classic novel
-Write something (i.e. story, poem, song)
-Cook more (get confident with cooking meat)
-Enjoy the simple things
-Spend more time with family
-Spend more time in prayer
-Meditate
-Focus on all the positives!
-Don't hold back!
-Get a better grasp on the Bible (all the stories, people, lessons, etc.)
-Blog more (it really feels good!)
-Go out of your way to be nice to a stranger
-Go out of your way to be nice to everyone
-Put money away (I'm mentioning this again because it is very important)
-Gain more self confidence!
-Take vitamins everyday
-Hug mom & dad more :)
-Call someone who you haven't talked to in awhile and just talk
-Always follow through
-Don't be late
-Keep your car clean and clutter free (you don't live there)
-Sing more--out loud.
-Have no shame!
-Carry your camera everywhere and stop if you want to take a picture of something
-Try new things!
-Just love more in general!
I'm sure I will think of more :)
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
"Someone in that plane was turning to God in Their Final Moments"
I'm late writing this post, but I wanted to share my experience on September 11th and the days that followed.
I was sitting in 6th grade social studies when a 7th grade teacher entered our room and pulled our teacher from class and into the hallway. At first, nobody thought anything about it because it wasn't uncommon for one teacher to talk to another even during class. We all were just talking amongst ourselves when our teacher came back into the room and informed us all that something very serious had happened in our country. He almost seemed excited that we were all witnessing history in the making. Being the worried little girl that I was I remember panicking and thinking that the world was coming to an end. I remember all I wanted to do was be home with my family.
The rest of the day was spent watching the news and questioning our teachers. I remember that all the teachers were traveling from room to room and were being very comforting. I also remember that a lot of my classmates were being picked up by their parents, but I was one of the handful that wasn't. At that time I was worried and wondered why I wasn't being picked up but now I understand my parent's mindset that day. They knew that I was safe in school and thought it would be a good place for me to be at that time.
On this particular day, September 11th, 2001, mom was picking me up from school because we had to go out and buy new dance shoes for my ballet class. When mom picked me up she informed me that dad was called to Shanksville, PA to investigate the crashsite were Flight 93 went down. I remember being so naive and ignorant and worried. I didn't know what to think and was worried that dad was in danger. My dad works for the Federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms and on September 11th he was one of the first to make it to the crashsite because our home in Western PA sits only about 30 minutes from where the plane went down. Dad spent 12, 12-hour days at the crashsite and I will always take pride in telling people that. It takes someone special to be able to be exposed to that kind of tragedy so close-up. When dad came home that first night I remember him coming into the room where I was already asleep, I woke up a little and remember being so glad to see him. I had never seen dad look so worn and weary. I remember the smell he had on this clothing everyday when he would return home. I can't describe it in words but I remember it. I still can't quite grasp the things he saw that first day and for days to come. He still has trouble discussing these things when anyone questions him or when that day rolls by every year. I don't blame him, He saw more than any person should have to see at that site. One thing I will always remember him telling me (because it bothered me) was this, "We found luggage, lipstick containers with razor blades in them, a bible, but no people. Only pieces strewn along the entire treeline." At the time I couldn't quite process what was being said and wondered why dad was being so blunt about it, but I understand now that it is something that will never leave his memory and it is a very cold memory. There is no other way to describe it.
The most amazing thing that dad shares is seeing that Bible. He said one of the guys found it in the "hole"(where the plane went into the ground), opened to a verse which I can't remember right now (no significance really). They laid it out where it could be seen and it remained untouched for the duration of the time he spent there. It moves him to tears to this day as it does me and most others who hear him tell of it. He says, "That Bible was in the cabin. It survived the crash to show us that someone in the cabin was turning to God in their final moments on this Earth." We have evidence that the passengers of Flight 93 were quite a special group that joined together in an effort to take their plane back from the terrorists. It isn't to say that the other passengers on the terrorized planes that day weren't remarkable because I guarantee they were. The passengers of Flight 93 ran their plane into a rural field in Western PA to keep it from reaching its desired destination. It is painful to think that they thought they were going to survive but it is also a bit of a comfort. Maybe in their final moments they weren't thinking about death. For myself, I don't know what I would've done in those moments. I like to think I would've been brave and took action. I like to think I would've prayed and turned to God for my salvation. In all honesty, I'm not even sure if I would've had my Bible on board with me. I probably would be the one crying and questioning and doubting. The story of that Bible and seeing the look on my dad's face when he tells of it, makes me consider my priorities. Those people on that plane as well as the rest of the world started their day, September 11th, 2001 as if it were any other day. They boarded their plane like any other day and they had no doubt that they would reach their destination. On this day in particular, that didn't happen. Their lives were ripped from them for no reason. Countless lives were shattered.
We don't know when that day will come for us. What we do have is today. We need to use our bodies today to glorify the Lord. Take time to pray. Study your Bible. Meditate on the words. Use the instruction of Jesus to guide the steps in your own life. Remember the sacrifice that was given for our lives on that day on Calvary. Victory was won there for the sins of the world. Remember these things. Remember what is of utmost importance in your life.
God Bless America
I was sitting in 6th grade social studies when a 7th grade teacher entered our room and pulled our teacher from class and into the hallway. At first, nobody thought anything about it because it wasn't uncommon for one teacher to talk to another even during class. We all were just talking amongst ourselves when our teacher came back into the room and informed us all that something very serious had happened in our country. He almost seemed excited that we were all witnessing history in the making. Being the worried little girl that I was I remember panicking and thinking that the world was coming to an end. I remember all I wanted to do was be home with my family.
The rest of the day was spent watching the news and questioning our teachers. I remember that all the teachers were traveling from room to room and were being very comforting. I also remember that a lot of my classmates were being picked up by their parents, but I was one of the handful that wasn't. At that time I was worried and wondered why I wasn't being picked up but now I understand my parent's mindset that day. They knew that I was safe in school and thought it would be a good place for me to be at that time.
On this particular day, September 11th, 2001, mom was picking me up from school because we had to go out and buy new dance shoes for my ballet class. When mom picked me up she informed me that dad was called to Shanksville, PA to investigate the crashsite were Flight 93 went down. I remember being so naive and ignorant and worried. I didn't know what to think and was worried that dad was in danger. My dad works for the Federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms and on September 11th he was one of the first to make it to the crashsite because our home in Western PA sits only about 30 minutes from where the plane went down. Dad spent 12, 12-hour days at the crashsite and I will always take pride in telling people that. It takes someone special to be able to be exposed to that kind of tragedy so close-up. When dad came home that first night I remember him coming into the room where I was already asleep, I woke up a little and remember being so glad to see him. I had never seen dad look so worn and weary. I remember the smell he had on this clothing everyday when he would return home. I can't describe it in words but I remember it. I still can't quite grasp the things he saw that first day and for days to come. He still has trouble discussing these things when anyone questions him or when that day rolls by every year. I don't blame him, He saw more than any person should have to see at that site. One thing I will always remember him telling me (because it bothered me) was this, "We found luggage, lipstick containers with razor blades in them, a bible, but no people. Only pieces strewn along the entire treeline." At the time I couldn't quite process what was being said and wondered why dad was being so blunt about it, but I understand now that it is something that will never leave his memory and it is a very cold memory. There is no other way to describe it.
The most amazing thing that dad shares is seeing that Bible. He said one of the guys found it in the "hole"(where the plane went into the ground), opened to a verse which I can't remember right now (no significance really). They laid it out where it could be seen and it remained untouched for the duration of the time he spent there. It moves him to tears to this day as it does me and most others who hear him tell of it. He says, "That Bible was in the cabin. It survived the crash to show us that someone in the cabin was turning to God in their final moments on this Earth." We have evidence that the passengers of Flight 93 were quite a special group that joined together in an effort to take their plane back from the terrorists. It isn't to say that the other passengers on the terrorized planes that day weren't remarkable because I guarantee they were. The passengers of Flight 93 ran their plane into a rural field in Western PA to keep it from reaching its desired destination. It is painful to think that they thought they were going to survive but it is also a bit of a comfort. Maybe in their final moments they weren't thinking about death. For myself, I don't know what I would've done in those moments. I like to think I would've been brave and took action. I like to think I would've prayed and turned to God for my salvation. In all honesty, I'm not even sure if I would've had my Bible on board with me. I probably would be the one crying and questioning and doubting. The story of that Bible and seeing the look on my dad's face when he tells of it, makes me consider my priorities. Those people on that plane as well as the rest of the world started their day, September 11th, 2001 as if it were any other day. They boarded their plane like any other day and they had no doubt that they would reach their destination. On this day in particular, that didn't happen. Their lives were ripped from them for no reason. Countless lives were shattered.
We don't know when that day will come for us. What we do have is today. We need to use our bodies today to glorify the Lord. Take time to pray. Study your Bible. Meditate on the words. Use the instruction of Jesus to guide the steps in your own life. Remember the sacrifice that was given for our lives on that day on Calvary. Victory was won there for the sins of the world. Remember these things. Remember what is of utmost importance in your life.
God Bless America
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Because She is Somebody's Mom
Today I had my first day of clinicals for nursing school. When I went to pre-planning yesterday and was assigned a patient I felt so overwhelmed and unprepared. I still felt that way arriving at the hospital this morning before beginning to care for my patient. I didn't think I knew enough to be of any help to the patients on my floor or to my peers.
I first found the RN that I would be working with for the day and was so pleasantly suprised when she automatically started teaching me things and taking me in to meet her other patients. She was so patient with me and let me follow her everywhere she went. I couldn't have asked for a better RN on my first day. When I first met my patient I was awkward and didn't really know how to communicate with him or provide him with care. However, I quickly learned that just speaking with the patient as if he were a friend was the best way to get him to feel comfortable with me enough to open up and express his personal concerns.
I got an easy first assignment because my patient was young and was able to provide a lot of his own care. We were instructed to check on our patients every 10 minutes because things can change so quickly. When I had down time I tried to get into as many other rooms as possible and witness different procedures.
There was one room in particular that really struck a chord in my heart and solidified my need to be in the nursing field. A women frantically came up to the nurse's station and stated that her mother seemed to be having a seizure. I rushed back with my instructor and one other student to see what was going on. When we got into the room a feeble old woman lay on the bed looking a bit disoriented and worried. My heart was racing because it was my first real nursing experience with a real patient having a real medical issue. I looked at my patient and then I glanced back at her daughter and I will never forget her face. Her eyes were welling with tears and with her hands over her mouth she had a terrified look. The patient looked at her daughter with confusion and concern. Her daughter, in her 50s, began to sob right there by the bedside. It took everything in me not to begin to cry myself as I laid my hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. She said, "I've just never seen my mother this way."
We asked if she had any family to support her and she stated that she was one of six children, 5 boys and herself. As soon as the words "6 children" came out of her mouth my mind wandered. I began to visualize the patient as a young woman in her teens. I pictured her as a young beautiful bride. I pictured her as a new mother welcoming a baby into the world. I pictured her as a mother cooking Thanksgiving dinner. I pictured her as a grandmother. I thought to myself, "this isn't just an old sick woman; this is somebody's mom."
I know it seems like a simple thought and it seems like it should be obvious. Of course she is somebody's mom, sister, cousin, aunt, daughter, etc. For some reason, that hadn't quite clicked until the moment I watched her daughter weeping. I was picturing these people as patients. They are more than that. They are somebody's loved one. They are somebody's entire life. THEY ARE SOMEBODY'S MOM.
These people did not choose to come into the hospital. They did not choose to be ill. They did not choose to have accidents on their bed. They did not choose to need assistance in everything they do. This is where they are and it is our job to care for their needs. I will try to remember every time I get frustrated or annoyed or impatient that this patient is somebody's everything.
I first found the RN that I would be working with for the day and was so pleasantly suprised when she automatically started teaching me things and taking me in to meet her other patients. She was so patient with me and let me follow her everywhere she went. I couldn't have asked for a better RN on my first day. When I first met my patient I was awkward and didn't really know how to communicate with him or provide him with care. However, I quickly learned that just speaking with the patient as if he were a friend was the best way to get him to feel comfortable with me enough to open up and express his personal concerns.
I got an easy first assignment because my patient was young and was able to provide a lot of his own care. We were instructed to check on our patients every 10 minutes because things can change so quickly. When I had down time I tried to get into as many other rooms as possible and witness different procedures.
There was one room in particular that really struck a chord in my heart and solidified my need to be in the nursing field. A women frantically came up to the nurse's station and stated that her mother seemed to be having a seizure. I rushed back with my instructor and one other student to see what was going on. When we got into the room a feeble old woman lay on the bed looking a bit disoriented and worried. My heart was racing because it was my first real nursing experience with a real patient having a real medical issue. I looked at my patient and then I glanced back at her daughter and I will never forget her face. Her eyes were welling with tears and with her hands over her mouth she had a terrified look. The patient looked at her daughter with confusion and concern. Her daughter, in her 50s, began to sob right there by the bedside. It took everything in me not to begin to cry myself as I laid my hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. She said, "I've just never seen my mother this way."
We asked if she had any family to support her and she stated that she was one of six children, 5 boys and herself. As soon as the words "6 children" came out of her mouth my mind wandered. I began to visualize the patient as a young woman in her teens. I pictured her as a young beautiful bride. I pictured her as a new mother welcoming a baby into the world. I pictured her as a mother cooking Thanksgiving dinner. I pictured her as a grandmother. I thought to myself, "this isn't just an old sick woman; this is somebody's mom."
I know it seems like a simple thought and it seems like it should be obvious. Of course she is somebody's mom, sister, cousin, aunt, daughter, etc. For some reason, that hadn't quite clicked until the moment I watched her daughter weeping. I was picturing these people as patients. They are more than that. They are somebody's loved one. They are somebody's entire life. THEY ARE SOMEBODY'S MOM.
These people did not choose to come into the hospital. They did not choose to be ill. They did not choose to have accidents on their bed. They did not choose to need assistance in everything they do. This is where they are and it is our job to care for their needs. I will try to remember every time I get frustrated or annoyed or impatient that this patient is somebody's everything.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Being Human
There are a lot of things in life that I don't understand. We don't understand. We aren't supposed to as humans, but we want to. We try to understand everything. We think that it is our responsibility to figure all of life's questions out for ourselves. We spend so much of our time and energy just trying to understand why things happen the way they do.
A lot of things have happened in my life in the past year that I don't understand. I lost sight of the person that I was. I want to be that girl again. I want to go back to how I was, but the truth is I can't. I can't erase what has happened and I can't take back things I've done. If I sit and let myself go to that dark place in my mind I have so much regret and so much guilt. So, I choose to just try to forget and do things better TODAY. All we really have to worry about is today anyway. No one knows if we will wake up tomorrow so why dwell on that? We can't live for yesterday because yesterday is gone and it won't be coming back. All we have is today. In a way that is a comforting thought to me. Makes me feel a little less stressed and a little less guilty. If all I have to worry about is today then I must be doing ok. If all I have to worry about is today then I can handle that.
As a christian we are taught to die daily to our own will and live solely for the will of our Father and what Hw wants for our lives. Every time I pray I finish with, "God, please help me to be more submissive to your will today."
I often pray those words but I don't know that I'm really applying them to my life. Sometimes I don't know if I'm truly listening to God's will for my life. I feel like I don't know how. I always hear people's stories about having a big epiphany when God calls them to do something. I don't feel like I've had that in my life. I mean I have done things in my life that were only possible through God, but I don't feel like anything has been directly brought into my life by God. Obviously my home, my family, friends and those things are brought by God and everything in my life is a product of God, but I feel like I'm not letting myself be completely submitted to His will. I have flaws. I hold back. I doubt. I worry. I struggle. I feel lost. I wander. I mess up. I am envious. I am self-conscious. I sin. I do all these things because I'm human.
But I have faith and contentment because I know that my Father forgives. He loves unconditionally. He loves when we turn away from Him. He loves when we mess up. He loves when we follow our own will. He doesn't give up. He doesn't lose faith in us.
A lot of things have happened in my life in the past year that I don't understand. I lost sight of the person that I was. I want to be that girl again. I want to go back to how I was, but the truth is I can't. I can't erase what has happened and I can't take back things I've done. If I sit and let myself go to that dark place in my mind I have so much regret and so much guilt. So, I choose to just try to forget and do things better TODAY. All we really have to worry about is today anyway. No one knows if we will wake up tomorrow so why dwell on that? We can't live for yesterday because yesterday is gone and it won't be coming back. All we have is today. In a way that is a comforting thought to me. Makes me feel a little less stressed and a little less guilty. If all I have to worry about is today then I must be doing ok. If all I have to worry about is today then I can handle that.
As a christian we are taught to die daily to our own will and live solely for the will of our Father and what Hw wants for our lives. Every time I pray I finish with, "God, please help me to be more submissive to your will today."
I often pray those words but I don't know that I'm really applying them to my life. Sometimes I don't know if I'm truly listening to God's will for my life. I feel like I don't know how. I always hear people's stories about having a big epiphany when God calls them to do something. I don't feel like I've had that in my life. I mean I have done things in my life that were only possible through God, but I don't feel like anything has been directly brought into my life by God. Obviously my home, my family, friends and those things are brought by God and everything in my life is a product of God, but I feel like I'm not letting myself be completely submitted to His will. I have flaws. I hold back. I doubt. I worry. I struggle. I feel lost. I wander. I mess up. I am envious. I am self-conscious. I sin. I do all these things because I'm human.
But I have faith and contentment because I know that my Father forgives. He loves unconditionally. He loves when we turn away from Him. He loves when we mess up. He loves when we follow our own will. He doesn't give up. He doesn't lose faith in us.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
I'm here!
I haven't been here in awhile and I know my plan was to use this while I was away, but things haven't gone exactly according to plan. I am doing very well and hope you all are too!
Random thoughts today:
I just love people. Did you ever just take time and listen to people's stories? Everyone has one. I met a man yesterday in the waiting room of the health clinic who had a 5-year-old and 1 month-old at home and was off work from disability because he was hit by a drunk driver--who was on her 5th DUI (mind you she was on her way home from dropping her son off at school). At the same clinic I met an adorable little 7-year-old named Zachary who had just gotten vaccinated for Chicken Pox and told me he "screamed his head off in there." This morning at Starbucks the man in front of me turned and said, "Is her voice piercing to you? Maybe I just need caffeine" (talking about the cashier). Later after talking awhile, I learned that his father used to golf in my hometown and he has two teenage sons at home with severe autism. It is amazing to listen to people's struggles and stories. On a flight 2 summers ago, I sat by a young guy named Kyle (who may have been attractive) and we started talking and ended up watching laguna beach on my ipod :) I learned through chatting with him that he was from Phoenix and was flying to see his dad in Pittsburgh who he hadn't seen for years. He was very nervous and actually when we got to baggage claim I saw him reunite with his dad and while he was hugging him we met eyes and he smiled at me (it was pretty cool to be part of that). Try just listening sometime. Next time your on a flight, sit by a stranger. When your checking out at Walmart, spark conversation with the cashier (unless of course your in the self checkout or there is a line forming behind you). Just listen to people. It isn't hard and makes you both feel good. Oh, and smile too :) You only go around one time, why not make it good for you and everyone who encounters you.
Random thoughts today:
I just love people. Did you ever just take time and listen to people's stories? Everyone has one. I met a man yesterday in the waiting room of the health clinic who had a 5-year-old and 1 month-old at home and was off work from disability because he was hit by a drunk driver--who was on her 5th DUI (mind you she was on her way home from dropping her son off at school). At the same clinic I met an adorable little 7-year-old named Zachary who had just gotten vaccinated for Chicken Pox and told me he "screamed his head off in there." This morning at Starbucks the man in front of me turned and said, "Is her voice piercing to you? Maybe I just need caffeine" (talking about the cashier). Later after talking awhile, I learned that his father used to golf in my hometown and he has two teenage sons at home with severe autism. It is amazing to listen to people's struggles and stories. On a flight 2 summers ago, I sat by a young guy named Kyle (who may have been attractive) and we started talking and ended up watching laguna beach on my ipod :) I learned through chatting with him that he was from Phoenix and was flying to see his dad in Pittsburgh who he hadn't seen for years. He was very nervous and actually when we got to baggage claim I saw him reunite with his dad and while he was hugging him we met eyes and he smiled at me (it was pretty cool to be part of that). Try just listening sometime. Next time your on a flight, sit by a stranger. When your checking out at Walmart, spark conversation with the cashier (unless of course your in the self checkout or there is a line forming behind you). Just listen to people. It isn't hard and makes you both feel good. Oh, and smile too :) You only go around one time, why not make it good for you and everyone who encounters you.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Hello All!
I know I know, I've been gone for a long time! A lot has happened! I am happily settled into my new spot for the summer and just got a sweet nephew on June 5th (his grandma, my mom's b-day)
Billy Eugene Butler IV came almost exactly one month early. His father is in Korea with the Air Force and had plans to be here a few weeks before the due date, but baby Billy apparently had plans of his own :) My amazing sister did so well (considering the circumstances). Dad, Mom and I had to meet up halfway and drove the longest 6 hours ever to get to Hannah! We arrived at 1:15 am and the baby was born at 12:54, so we had just missed him!!! HE IS THE CUTEST!
I think he came early to keep his mama company while they wait for daddy to get home :)
Am I right or am I right? Look at those lips!
So, if you can't tell I'm smitten. I didn't know I could love another baby as much as my niece Ingrid, but it turns out the love continues and grows! Now once the two of them meet my heart is liable to explode!!!!
Anyway, I wanted to share my sweet blessing with all of you. Hope this post finds you all well! I'm off camping tomorrow until Sunday (let's hope they have showers).
Love to all! Happy Summer!
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